(When Everything Feels Awkward)
Let’s just say it: Writing feels weird at first.
You sit down, open the doc, and suddenly forget how sentences work. Everything you type sounds either painfully formal or like you’re pretending to be someone you saw once on BookTok.
You try channeling your favorite author, but it comes out like a knockoff brand. You try “just being yourself,” but your brain short-circuits and turns out something that reads like a seventh-grade essay.
Welcome to the awkward phase.
The good news? You’re not doing it wrong.
The better news? You’re closer to your real writing voice than you think.
Wait… What Even Is a Writing Voice?
It’s not grammar, vocabulary, or whether your sentences are long and lyrical or short and punchy.
Your writing voice is how your words feel.
It’s the vibe. The attitude. The flavor.
It’s the thing that makes your writing sound like you.
Even if someone else wrote about the same topic, your version would hit different.
Why It Feels So Awkward in the Beginning
You’re learning a new way to express yourself. It’s bound to feel clunky.
When you first start writing, your voice is covered in layers of stuff you’ve picked up:
- What school taught you writing “should” sound like
- What you think “real” authors are supposed to do
- The twelve conflicting Instagram posts that told you “show, don’t tell” but also “don’t over-describe” but also “use your authentic voice”
Basically, you’ve got a lot of noise in your head, and no one sounds natural with an audience of imaginary critics sitting on their shoulders.
Step One: Stop Trying to Sound Smart
This is not your thesis paper. You don’t have to impress anyone or write well right now. What matters is that you write true.
Try this: imagine you’re telling the story to a friend. Not just any friend. The one who gets your sense of humor and has seen you cry during cat food commercials.
Write like that version of you is talking.
If it feels too stiff, loosen up. If it feels too silly, rein it in. But keep adjusting until the words feel like they belong to you.
Step Two: Read It Out Loud (Even If It’s Cringe)
Want to know if something sounds like your voice? Say it out loud.
If you read a sentence and think, “Ugh, I would never actually talk like that,” then guess what? It’s not your voice.
Try rewriting it the way you’d say it in conversation.
Yes, even if that conversation includes weird metaphors, a little sarcasm, or sentences that technically aren’t sentences. That’s how real people talk. That’s how you talk.
And that’s where your voice lives.
Step Three: Give Yourself Permission to Be Weird
The thing that makes your writing voice stand out might be the very thing you’ve been trying to tone down.
- Maybe you use way too many parentheses.
- Maybe your characters are overly dramatic.
- Maybe your metaphors are unhinged and slightly inappropriate.
Good.
That weirdness? That’s where the gold is.
That’s the stuff people will remember. Don’t sand off your quirks trying to sound like someone else.
Lean in.
Step Four: Write More. Then Write More.You don’t find your voice by thinking about it. You find it by using it.
Voice isn’t discovered by overthinking. It grows when you use it. Write. Feel a little cringe. Keep going. Improve a bit. Surprise yourself. Then trim what does not belong.
Then you try again.
Over time, patterns will emerge. Certain rhythms. Favorite words. A particular kind of humor or honesty or edge.
That’s your voice showing up.
All you have to do is keep the door open. And if you’re struggling to build the kind of consistency that helps your voice grow, you might find Writing Routines for People with Actual Lives especially useful.
Step Five: Stop Trying to Be Original
Here’s a sneaky little trap: trying so hard to be unique that you end up sounding fake.
You are original. You don’t need to force it.
Focus on being honest, not clever. Say what you mean. Don’t worry if someone else has written about it. They haven’t done it in your voice. And that’s what makes it fresh.
Step Six: Read Writers Who Sound Like You (Or Like Who You Want to Be)
When you’re still finding your footing, it helps to read authors who make you go:
“Oh wow, I didn’t know we were allowed to write like that.”
Read widely. Highlight what hits. Notice what feels natural to you. Not so you can copy it, but so you can feel permission to do your thing.
Your voice will feel more confident the more you surround it with other strong voices.
Final Thoughts: Voice Is Something You Grow Into
Finding your writing voice isn’t a one-time thing.
It’s not a quiz result or a mystical gift. You uncover it, layer by layer, by writing.
So if everything feels awkward right now, good. That means you’re in it. That means you’re doing the work.
Write through the weirdness. Talk to yourself on the page. Let your voice change, deepen, and sharpen.
Because your voice? It’s in there.
And when you find it, oh baby, it’ll feel like coming home.
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Imposter syndrome: Why it’s so common (and how to shut it up)
Writing when you’re not sure anyone will care